i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
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