Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
