Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
