Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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