Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
