the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
