i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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