what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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