We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
