i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
