I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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