i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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