it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This is classic penis vs brain.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
