somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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