her vagine was all disorganized.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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