In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
