Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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