I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i will never coherently bang her
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
