I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize