How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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