cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
