Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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