found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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