She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
