Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
