i think i have herpe
just one?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
