he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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