dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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