After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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