youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Your tits are I can't wait for
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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