Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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