they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Come on in and take your pants off
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