operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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