I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
