I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
