She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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