Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
