Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I can't turn off my feet"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
