i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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