It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
