Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
