thus making me awesome and them whores
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
