We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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