i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
