Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
