I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
