If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
