if you like me you must not know who I am
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
