I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
