His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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