Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
