Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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