i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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