hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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