Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
