dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
