There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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