and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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