after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
