Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
But theres a keg here and me gusta
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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