You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I understand Curling. That high.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
