I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
