lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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